10. Better Late Than Never
9. Home of the Tennis Golden Slam… or Not!
8. BYOC (Bring Your Own Condoms)
7. Tickets? We Don’t Need Any Stinkin’ Tickets!
6. Come to Tokyo and See the Future… and Future is Cardboard Furniture
5. Don’t Confuse Us with the X-Games
4. Sorry, it’s not Football Season Yet
3. Endorsed by Kaijus Everywhere
2. Quit While You’re Ahead
And the winner is:
1. Look, Ma, No Fans!
The votes are in. Here are the results for the top 10 mascots choices to represent the Rio 2016 Summer Olympics.
10. Pig-Pen
9. Winnie the Pooh
8. Stinknicius
7. Dougie the Dung Beetle
6. Pepé Le Pew
5. Doo Doo the Dinosaur
4. Mr. Un-Clean
3. Mcgruff the Crime Dog
2. Mr. Hankey
And the winner is:
1. Baby Ruth
Thanks for voting!
Enjoy the games and remember to keep your mouth closed when swimming.
Starring: Chris Evans, Robert Downey Jr., Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan
Directed by: Anthony Russo & Joe Russo
Written by: Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely
Genre(s): Comic book, Action
No spoilers here!
“Movies that had stories, so you cared about whose ass it was and why it was farting…”
-Joe Bauers (as played by Luke Wilson, IDIOCRACY)
I’m sure when Mike Judge directed his satirical masterpiece, IDIOCRACY, back in 2006, he had no idea that someday it would be used in a review about an Avengers’ movie. Well, that day has come, my friends.
CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR was a two and half hour bore fest, stuffed with way too many long-winded scenes full of meaningless violence, just like the last two AVENGERS movies (released in 2012 and 2015).
I defined these scenes as meaningless for two reasons. First, when these superheroes fought each other… then fought again… then fought some more, we knew no one was going to get hurt. Where’s the suspense? Where’s the drama? Second, most of these fight scenes were inconsequential to the plot of the story, which ultimately makes or breaks a movie.
I’d preferred if this movie was edited down to under two hours. Perhaps a tighter story would have made us care more about these characters and why they were farting, I mean fighting. After sitting through what seemed like thousands of CGI animated whirly-kicks, flippity-dos and twister-jabbers, I looked at my watch and said to myself, “So what.”
From the digital perspective, this movie looked great, but it was absent of great or memorable scenes. I also would have preferred this movie to have been a smaller story like CAPTAIN AMERICA: WINTER SOLDIER (2014) which I thought was one of the better Marvel movies from the past decade, along with IRON MAN (2008).
Maybe I have too high of expectations, but unlike many other summer popcorn movies I’ve seen over the years, this one was not enjoyable, except for when scenes from IDIOCRACY popped into my head while I squirmed around my theater seat. I chuckled and said to myself, “So what.”
Have you heard the news? On February 7, 2016 there’s going to be something called the BIG GAME.
I’m not sure what exactly it is since the radio and TV commercials don’t give any details, except for referencing it as the “big game.” Apparently I need to buy a new sofa, a new television and a carload of Doritos. This sounds like an expensive endeavor, not to mention a lot of work to enjoy it. Instead I plan on watching something else which doesn’t require much preparation.
My “Big Game” Watch List Alternatives:
January 20, 2016 – Big news in the world of astronomy was announced this week.
Researchers at Caltech published their discovery on a “real” ninth planet.
Too bad for Pluto. If you recall, the former ninth planet was demoted to the status of a dwarf planet in 2006. With this new discovery, there’s really no chance of Pluto ever reclaiming its place in our solar system as the ninth rock from the sun. Additionally, this recently discovered planet was possibily the culprit of Pluto’s destruction eons ago.
According to the researchers, this real planet has the mass of ten Earths and has an incomprehensible huge, elongated orbit. A full orbit around sun would take between 10,000 and 20,000 years to complete.
Wow! Facts like this make my head spin. To help to put this sort of timeline into perspective, here are some other interesting facts:
What’s even more incomphrensible, is if a Twinkie was produced 20,000 years ago, it would probably be still edible today. After all, just like how the universe has no edge and has no center, a Twinkie has no shelf life. Yeah, facts like these make my head spin and my mouth water.
Long live Pluto, Twinkies and Chuck Norris!)
